East Bound & Down

There's a tornado of thoughts and feelings whirling in my mind...well there was. Then I saw the blankness of this posting page.........silence. Sigh. Where to begin. Looks like Nathaniel will be taking the trucking job for sure now. He'll be working 2 weeks on and 4 days off for a year. Neither of us is really enjoying this. He called my Dad and his to find out their opinion's. Each said to go for it. The money is good as are the benefits. Nathaniel is worried. Not about learning a new skill but about Geof and me. I'm trying to keep a smile on my face simply for the fact that it makes this decision easier on him.

I know, I know some wives would be dancing the happy jig. Nathaniel and I went through a lot in the beginning of our marriage. Unplanned pregnancy, deciding to abort, me deciding against it, having a kid, not really liking each other all that well, being 20 years old, etc. We're back to normal now. The first year of our marriage was hell. We've both blocked it out which is good. There were times when we didn't think we would make it. But we did. We value each other too much and our son. We are very proud of making it through...without therapy! I can't imagine going to two solid weeks without seeing him. Sure, he'll be able to email and call, but I won't be able to feel his warmth, smell him, or rub his prickly bald head! I've spent the last 6 months with him at home. Now I'll only see him for 4 days out of every month, that's only 48 days out of an entire year! On the upside, sex will be fantastic! Knowing my luck, however, the 4 days he's home I'll be on the damn rag!

...sigh...

Part of me wants to cry, but the other is numb. I'm not sad or scared just apprehensive and a little worried. Life's an adventure I guess. We'll just have to see how this one turns out.

Guess I should study up on my CB vernacular...maybe I should rent Smokey & the Bandit! Ha!